


Horny nuglickers.

by Pinkiiie



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull - Freeform, Bad Flirting, F/M, Feel-good, M/M, No Sex, this is basically just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 04:23:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18087359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkiiie/pseuds/Pinkiiie
Summary: Adaar considered herself blessed with a patience few could poke at. It had made working with her mercenary team a lot easier, both everyday life and missions but especially with Kaariss’ colourful poetry. With that said, this constant childish squabbling between Dorian and the Iron Bull was driving her insane. The rest of her inner circle as well. Both needed to grow some spines and admit what everyone else already knew; they wanted to bone. Excessively.





	Horny nuglickers.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been home with stomachflu and puking my guts out. What's a girl to do? Why, play Dragon Age of course. The fic is inspired by the banter between Dorian and Ironbull. It just got soooooo fucking sapppy, sorry you guys.  
> Feel free to comment, point out errors, give kudos or simply enjoy!

“We have to do something about this.” Krem said, having caught Adaar walking out of a meeting in the war room. What ‘this’ was didn’t need to be specified to either of them, they both knew was ‘this’ was. Adaar considered herself blessed with a patience few could poke at. It had made working with her mercenary team a lot easier, both everyday life and missions but especially with Kaariss’ colourful poetry. With that said, this constant childish squabbling between Dorian and the Iron Bull was driving her insane. The rest of her inner circle as well. Both needed to grow some spines and admit what everyone else already knew; they wanted to bone. Excessively.

“If you have suggestions I will listen.” She informed Krem and the young man sighed.

“I was hoping that you had ideas.”  He said with a bemused smile. “The only one I’ve got is to lock ‘em up in the same room and something tells me that’ll get me beaten up at practise afterwards.” Adaar nodded in agreement.

“Yes, let’s keep that as our last resort shall we.” She added. “I’ll go over some strategies with Leliana and maybe we’ll find a solution for this. Don’t worry, Krem. I’ll fix this.” Krem’s smile turned soft and he uttered a small ‘thanks Adaar’ as he slipped away.

 

~*~

 

That last blow _hurt_. Adaar was no weakling but compared to Bull’s physique she was quite scrawny and the older Tal-Vashot usually restrained himself in their workouts. Training always left her sore, but something was indeed grinding on Bull’s mind, he just couldn’t control himself today.

“Bull,” she scolded with sweat licking her tired arms and legs trembling from exhaustion “what is going on?”

The Iron Bull stopped mid-blow and gave her a confused stare. “What’dyou mean Boss?”

“I mean,” she said a little out of breath “that you’ve been pummelling me more than usual and I want to know why you feel like smashing me like gravel.” With a thud she sat down on the soothingly chill ground, knotting her fingers in the grass to keep her grounded as the exhaustion turned her slightly dizzy. The Iron Bull had the decency to look a bit sheepish as he sat down next to her. The only thing that made her feel any better was the huge bruise forming across his shoulder where she had gotten in quite a heavy hit not too long ago.

“Sorry Boss, a little bit distracted is all.” He apologized with a shrug. Adaar stared firmly at him, knowing full well that his training with the Ben-Hassrath made him almost impervious to such techniques, and Bull returned her stare. A full five minutes of absolute silence passed between the two before Adaar conceded. She flung herself backwards into the grass with a frustrated groan.

“You know, you could lose once in a while to keep my spirits up.” She suggested with a pout and the Iron Bull’s laugh filled the air.

“As if.” He responded with a grin and leaned back on his arms. “I promise no to go so hard on you next time though.” He promised. Adaar huffed with a smile and slapped this arm with an uttered ’liar’ to accompany it. Comfortable silence fell on them once more for a small while.

“So what’s going on between you and Dorian?” she asked finally. It was better to take the bull by the horn, as they say, than much else. The Iron Bull stiffened next to her, trying to play it off as nothing.

“The ‘vint?” he asked, eye fixated on the towering walls of Skyhold.

“Yes the ‘vint’, now stop deflecting. What’s your issue?”

“You know, the usual. Qunari and ‘vints aren’t really on friendly terms and so on.”

“Bullshit, Bull.” She chastised him, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “Krem’s a tevinter and you hold no grudge against him. Is it the mage thing?” she asked with a pointed look at her own staff resting a bit away. The Iron Bull followed her gaze and grimaced slightly.

“No, Boss, you know I don’t have anything against mages. You know, as long as they don’t become murdering abominations and stuff. And it’s not the tevinter thing either.” Adaar nodded and drew a quiet but deep breath.

“So why not just bang him and get it over with?” she asked boldly. The Iron Bull scoffed at her with a wide eye before rupturing into loud and heavy laughter. Well, it could have gone a lot worse. Once he settled down, he gave her a pat on her shoulder.

“As if I would ever bed that preening peacock, Adaar. I would sooner fuck that creepy pet-demon of yours than the ‘vint. But you might be on to something. Maybe I’ll go and see what that serving-girl’s doing tonight, you know, the redhead.” He smiled.

Adaar sighed, Bull would have to eat those words sooner or later. She knew it was inevitable.

 

~*~

 

“That staff's in pretty good shape, Dorian.” the Iron Bull said with a grin towards the mage. “Do you spend a lot of time polishing it?”

Dorian groaned at the joke but didn’t have any good comebacks this time and merely quickened his steps to fall in line next to Blackwall. This made Bull’s grin lessen somewhat and even though he tried to hide it, Adaar could see his eyebrows knotting together.

This had started to happen more often, the Iron Bull snarking or joking at Dorian or at the expense of him and the mage snarking less and pulling away more. Which, Adaar admitted, was even worse for morale than Sera’s singing. Cole had been otherwise busy as of lately, she could have used his special skills to unravel this mess but Varric had insisted he needed the kid with him on his missions. So here she was. In the middle of the Emerald Graves with a, sort of, Grey warden and a pair of lovebirds who seemed to be in a bit of a squabble.

A few hours later, when they had set up camp and made a fire, she sat down next to Dorian. The man had sat himself on the opposite side of the flames from Bull and kept his gaze down in his food.

“What’s wrong, Dorian?” she asked with a low voice, keeping her eyes on the fire. Dorian shrugged next to her.

“Nothing.” He claimed. _Lied_. She had to fight with all her willpower to not roll her eyes.

“Sure, and nugs are turning green. Come on, what is it?” she glanced at him, noticing the small glimpse over at the Iron Bull which were almost invisible. ”Is it the jokes? I know they’re not very good but he does-“

“It’s not the jokes, my dear.” Dorian interrupted with a sigh, stirring the contents of his supper bowl. “If it’s okay, I just don’t want to talk about it. Would that be alright?” Adaar nodded, glancing over at Bull and Blackwall who were talking loudly and friendly with each other. If he didn’t want to talk she wouldn’t push him, it never worked anyway. She gave Dorian’s shoulder a couple of pats and smiled.

“I’m here if you ever need to talk, you know that, right?” Dorian raised his gaze and gave her a small smile.

“I know. Thank you, my dear.”

She moved away a bit but not all the way over to the other two. While she quietly ate her own supper, she took notice of the glances Bull sent Dorian. Those glances were missed by the latter who still kept his gaze down at his food. Something was definitely wrong and she needed to fix it.

The first one to bed was without surprise Dorian who laid on his bedroll with his back to the fire. Blackwall followed him not long after and was snoring softly on his own roll. Left sitting by the fire was the Iron Bull and Adaar. She had moved closer to Bull as Blackwall went to bed and sometime after that a bottle of West hill brandy had sneaked up between them, one of them taking a few sips and then holding it out for the other. Half the bottle was already gone. Adaar put a fresh log on the fire and took another sip from the bottle, feeling the slight burn down her throat like a gentle caress.

“Maybe you should ease up on Dorian, Bull.” She said absently, glancing at the Iron Bull. He looked unusually forlorn.

“I know. Just… thought it was our thing. Dragging each other’s asses. Don’t know what happened. And I’ve been trying to fix it but shit… the guy just looks more and more miserable no matter what I do.” He sighed ruefully and took the bottle Adaar offered him and chugged down a sizeable amount.

“Have you tried talking to him like a normal being?” she asked and watch as Bull’s eyebrows did that knotting-thing he tried to hide.

“No,” he admitted after a brief silence “I don’t really know how I guess. It’s not what we do.”

“Maybe it should be” Adaar suggested. Bull nodded absently.

“Yeah, maybe.” He mumbled eyebrows still knotted. Refusing the bottle Bull held out for her, Adaar rose and stretched.

“Goodnight, Bull. Wake me up in three hours and I’ll take watch.” She instructed as she lay down by her own bedroll.

“Sure thing, Boss.” The Iron Bull answered her, his voice sounding very distant.

 

~*~

 

Varric placed himself next to the Inquisitor at the ball of hay on top of Blackwalls’ loft. She felt like she knew what this little get-together entailed and held up a hand as Varric opened his mouth.

“I know. He’s very down at the moment. I’m working on it.” Varric raised an eyebrow.

“And how exactly are you working on it?” he asked. “Because Sparkles is just no that sparkly anymore, Adaar. It ain’t right.”

It had gone downhill since that night in the forest. She assumed that Bull had tried talking to Dorian and something must have gone awry because the mage had distanced himself from not just the Iron Bull but from the whole inner circle. He had lost his lustre.

“Maybe if we lock ‘em in the same room, a bottle of booze and some nice fragrant oils they’ll work it out?” Varric suggested hopefully, glancing down at the mounts. Adaar sighed, scratching the back of her neck.

“That’s a last resort, Varric. But right now, I’m very tempted.”

“Well, we need to fix it and soon.”

“I know.”

 

~*~

 

“Help, Dorian!”

The rift-shard had sprung from the ground, catching Dorian of guard. Adaar had tried to keep her eyes on him but the amounts of demons coming from this rift was insane. It wasn’t until after a good while that they had managed to close it and dispatched of the last of the demons. She was the first one to reach the mage and clearly established that he was breathing. He was also bleeding profoundly from where the shard had pierced him and she quickly mustered up all the magic she could to patch him up. She felt both Blackwall’s and Bull’s presence behind her as she murmured enchantments. Their nervous energies did nothing to help her concentrate but soon she had Dorian stabilised. His injuries were beyond her knowledge in healing but at least he wouldn’t die on them right now. Blackwall’s steady hand gripped her shoulder calmingly as Bull gently picked up Dorian.

“My lady, do you wish my assistance?” Blackwall asked gently and as she nodded, he bent down, placed one of her arms over his shoulder and helped her to her feet. Dizzily, her eyes followed the movement of Bull’s back as they made their way forward. There was a village they had passed not long ago and she recognised the road back towards it. Most of the travel was a blur and she slipped in and out of consciousness, good thing Blackwall was a sturdy man whom could carry her weight. She felt herself being lain down on a cot, someone stroking her cheek. A low and soothing voice lulled her through the final stages of exhaustion and she fell asleep.

It was dark when she finally woke, room lit by a single lantern by the door. She sat up, somewhat disoriented and took a quick look around the humble room. The light illuminated little in there but beside the cot sat a softly snoring Blackwall, leaning back against the wall with hands clasped together on top of his padded belly. Relief coursed through her and she felt her lips tug in a small smile. The relief left quickly and her eyes darted around the room once more. Dorian. He wasn’t there. Adaar got to her feet, still shaking a bit, before moving silently through the room. She thanked every god there ever was when the door didn’t creak as she opened it. Blackwall needed to sleep as much as any of them and she would not deny him this moment of undisturbed peace.

This was not a small house, four or five rooms at most was probably a good guess. The village’s inn then. They had passed it on their journey through. As she exited her room she saw a corridor with four other doors, one on her right and three on her left. What little light made its way through the windows showed a handful inquisition soldiers, sleeping softly along the walls. They must have been here for a while then.

Adaar staggered across the hall, careful not to wake anyone. She stopped at the last door, two guards were asleep on either side of it. Silently she opened it. It was the same as her room, only one lantern by the door. This one shed a gently light on Dorian’s sleeping form on a similar cot like hers. A breath she didn’t know she had been holding left her and her whole form relaxed. He was alive. Her keen eyes could see his chest rising and falling. Good.

Glancing to the side, she saw the Iron Bull on a rickety chair next to the cot. It was a wonder it could hold his massive form. He appeared to be sleeping but his hand rested on the shaft of his war axe and no one could tell for sure if he out of it or not. Better not to find out. Dorian was in safe hands with Bull there and she returned to her own room for some more much needed rest.

 

~*~

 

Three days had passed and Dorian had yet to wake. The inquisition had sent healers who had tended to him and they had told them that all that anyone could do now was wait. Adaar knew it was selfish but she had informed her advisors that she would not move from the village until Dorian awoke. After all, with all the hard work that had been done, this small act of selfishness was well deserved.

Her companions didn’t seem to mind the small pause in their hectic lives. Blackwall had spent the time getting to know the village, teaching their youths a few moves of self-defence. A few young men and women seemed to be smitten by him. Adaar was lucky she knew where his heart where at or she would have been jealous. The Iron Bull had barely left Dorian’s room. More than once had she passed the man’s door to sneak a peak only to find Bull softly talking to Dorian, mostly about the charger’s and their adventures. It was nice. He looked so homey seated next to the cot. She had chosen not to disturb it and had kept her distance for most of their stay, conferring with the healers now and then to make sure everything was okay – both with Dorian and Bull.

It was another five days until Dorian finally woke and yet another two until they could leave for Skyhold. Both Adaar and Blackwall had crammed themselves into Dorians room as soon as news of his awakening reached them and the two of them as well as Bull stayed with him until their departure, sharing stories and laughing together. Although pale from wear, this was the happiest she had seen Dorian in quite a while. It was quite a relief.

Once they arrived back in Skyhold, Varric was the first to welcome them all back with a bear hug. Adaar noticed the extra attention he gave the mage and noticed as well how the Iron Bull never seemed to be too far from Dorian, always just a few steps away. Whether or not anyone else noticed she couldn’t say.

 

~*~

 

Their relationship had regressed.

A few weeks it had been like a normal relationship, a friendship, a partnership. As it had been when they left that small village. And then it had quickly spiralled back into the bad flirting. But worse. This time around it was more like each of them _literally_ begged the other to fuck them while it went over the other’s head.

Every time one of them opened their mouths Adaar could physically feel the rest of the party cringe before even a word had been spoken. She was met with desperate glances at the breakfast table as their banter started and then even more so at supper when it was _still_ continuing.

 _Horny nuglickers_.

This time, it was Cassandra who suggested it and if _Cassandra_ suggested _that_ then it was really a last resort. Which made Adaar feel less guilty and rueful than she probably should feel. Everyone, even Vivienne, helped with the preparations. It was time these two started to act like decent people again.

“In here boys, Leliana said she would be waiting inside.” Dorian and Bull both entered the room.

“I thought this was a storage room?” Dorian asked somewhat confused, looking at Adaar who had stopped just before entering.

“It was.” She answered while nodding. The Iron Bull had just noticed the quite large cot and raised an eyebrow which rose even higher as his gaze fell upon the cluster of small vials next to it.

“Adaar,” he said warningly “what’s this about?”

She gave them both a toothy grin and stepped back, shutting the door in the process. The locks clicked and the handle gleamed in a funny blue colour. _Thank you, Solas_. The magic in the door hummed softly and was soon overpowered by the pounding of fists.

“Hey! Let us out!”

“You’re not serious! Adaar, I will rip you apart!”

Certain that the magic would hold them for as long as necessary, Adaar approached the door.

“Now, I suggest the two of you sit down and talk about how you feel for one another. And then, for all our sakes, I hope you the two of you screw each other like there was no tomorrow. Okay? Good? Great, see you boys later.”

And with that she was off, followed by a symphony of objections and pounding.

 

~*~

 

“Enough, Bull! You’ve made your point!” she growled as she got to her feet for what seemed to be the millionth time that training. “I’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ and you and Dorian are lovely together, now stop pummelling me.”

The older Tal-Vashoth huffed, he was still quite annoyed even if the stunt had worked. The bad flirting had stopped. Or at least lessened to a level where it was bearable. It was almost cute now.

“Boss, I swear, you do something like that again-“

“What? Help you get laid?” Adaar asked mockingly with a small grin as Bull’s eye darkened and his cheeks got a shade darker.

“Watch it.” He muttered, advancing towards her. She barely had time to avoid being thrown to the ground. _Again_. “You should be able to see that move from miles by now, Boss.” He growled with frustration.

“I know, I know.” Adaar held out her hands in surrender and sat herself down on the ground, breath panting. Bull planted himself down next to her with a loud thud. A comfortable silence grew between them as they rested a bit. After a while she felt the urge to ask what had been on her mind since the night she let them out of the storage room.

“Does he make you happy?”

The Iron Bull turned his gaze onto her, eyeing her quietly before giving a small nod. Good. He deserved it. The silence grew once more and this time it was the Iron Bull who broke it.

“I won’t do it though.”

“Won’t do what?” Her face admitted both her confusion and curiosity. Bull’s face split in an amused grin as he glanced at her.

“Fuck your pet-demon. I won’t do it. Dorian’s pretty jealous.”

She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as the words hit her and she remembered their conversation.

“Spirit!” she chastised laughingly, friendly shoving Bull into the grass. The Iron Bull’s laughter joined hers, bouncing over the stony walls of Skyhold.

“Whatever, I’m not doing it.”


End file.
